You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
