The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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