So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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