youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
