i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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