I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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