ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I love having hate sex.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
BRING THE BAGELS
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
