just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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