We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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