guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
