My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
