nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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