what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
