I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
