Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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