My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
