Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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