she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
