All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
