I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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