He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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