So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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