I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
