you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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