no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
