WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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