hell yes lets make some ravioli
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
