she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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