Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
me + whiskey = a bad person
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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