I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
