I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
