office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
