Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
