Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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