Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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