the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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