I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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