fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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