To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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