I bet he comes in French.
I need to stop coming to work sober
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
