he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My bed smells like the plague
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
