you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
whose parrot is this?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
