I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
