I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
