I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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