no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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