it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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