he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
