I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
