You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
